I Went To A New Jersey Nets Game And A Circus Broke Out

When I went to my first pro basketball game in over ten years, Celtics @ Nets, a few weeks ago, I was less than impressed by the lackadaisical efforts displayed by the millionaire ballers I’d paid to see.

So, I guess it shouldn’t have come as a major shock that my second game on Monday night, Bobcats @ Nets, was even more of a letdown given that both teams had long been eliminated from playoff contention.

I knew going in that both teams would be without almost every decent player on their rosters due to injury, but Zach has never seen his beloved Bobcats in person so I went along for moral support.

I figured I was going to see high school level basketball, but I never expected to witness a three-ring circus.

Apparently, the Nets are well aware that their actual on court product leaves something to be desired. Last game I remember there being some sort of entertainment during literally every TV timeout, but what I saw Monday night took it to a whole new level.

The entertainment MC was a young man with corn rows tucked under his backwards hat and a Nets jersey that designated him “Glorious.” Throughout the game, he feigned excitement over T-shirt cannons, countless dance routines, an impressive halftime talent show, and a male fan makeover sponsored by Nivea.

One fourth quarter stoppage was a pretty good summation of the night. Play halted and out paraded two ladies on stilts, the Nets’ mascot, Sly, his Mini-Me accomplice (dubbed Mini-Sly) on a siren-toting bike, dancers with streamers, and trapeze artists flying down from the rafters. OK, I made that last part up, but needless to say, Glorious was pumped.

I get that the Nets are trying to provide their fans and families with as diverse an entertainment experience as possible, but they might want to focus a little more on the actual basketball aspect of the event.

Backup point guard Jordan Farmar - who was starting because Deron Williams, the Nets’ lone recognizable player, missed the game with injury - was caught on the Jumbotron yawning during pregame introductions, and it’s a bit of a shock that he didn’t actually fall asleep under one of the hoops.

The game was played with the enthusiasm of a hungover college freshman at a Friday morning lecture and I caught myself nodding off on more than a few occasions. I’m not a huge NBA fan so that’s understandable, but Zach, who watches basketball literally every night and was psyched up to finally catch his ‘Cats in person even admitted to closing his eyes a couple times.

The Nets drew a sizable crowd given the circumstances of the game, but I’ll bet most were like us, picking up tickets off StubHub for literally less than $1.

The Nets will only be in New Jersey for one more season before moving to Brooklyn and something tells me the organization’s circus act won’t be tolerated across the river. Getting Deron was a start, but this team had better figure out how to entertain a crowd during the actual game instead of relying on ridiculous gimmicks to rouse its fans.

New Jersey Nets' Games Still Devoid Of Energy, But The In-Game Entertainment Is Top-Notch

Last Monday I attended my first NBA game in over 10 years, a clash between the powerhouse Boston Celtics and the cellar dwelling New Jersey Nets.

I’ll confess that the Nets’ acquisition of Deron Williams, one of my favorite players, goaded me into browsing for tickets and the Celtics, who I admire for playing as a team, were an appealing opponent. I figured that for the StubHub total of $37.95, I’d surely get my money’s worth.

Thanks to some basketball crazy friends at college, I’ve gotten much more into the NBA over the last few years, and my existing love for college basketball made me think it was time to give pro basketball another shot in person.

Little did I know that my negative perceptions of the NBA from afar were completely accurate.

Before anyone says, “Come on, it was the Nets! What did you expect!?” I must inform you that this crowd was quite sizable not just for the Nets, but for most NBA teams. Granted, the 18,711 fans that showed up at the Prudential Center were mostly shamrock supporters, but still, there were plenty of bodies in the building.

I showed up with GSG's own Zach Pletchan about an hour before tip-off, and we made our way down to the court hoping to get a glimpse of Deron, or rather, Nets fans going ballistic over Deron the way Knicks fans are Carmelo Anthony. Evidently Williams had either already warmed up, or was hanging out with his newborn son until the last possible moment (can’t blame him there). The ancient Celtics, who had played the night before, must have been involved in an intense locker room game of Bingo, because they never came out for warm-ups. That meant we were treated to a steady diet of Kris Humphries, Dan Gadzuric, and Sasha Vujacic. To their credit they all signed autographs and seemed like decent enough folks, but sadly there was no sight of Kim Kardashian.

The ushers sent us to find our seats and we climbed up until we were parallel to the rafters, but for the price I wasn’t complaining.

Until the game started.

The Celtics arrived clearly of the belief that they could loaf around for three quarters and snatch a victory from the hapless Nets in the closing minutes. That’s exactly what Boston tried to do, but sadly the Celtics didn’t exactly seem broken up when the game didn’t go as planned.

The Nets hung step for step with the Celtics before pulling away in the fourth, but they too seemed more than content to play at half-speed. Even though the game became suddenly dramatic in the closing minutes and Deron hit a clutch shot to ice it, real energy never entered the arena.

The most entertaining parts of the game were a goofy looking Celtics fan dressed as a leprechaun carrying a fake pipe between his lips and the in-game entertainment. Normally at sporting events I find the incessant on-court gimmicks during commercial breaks to be unnecessary and obtrusive, but it’s been a long time since I’ve suffered through a mind-numbing March game between two teams at the opposite ends of the NBA standings. So when the Nets trotted out a dance team of grandmas and grandpas called the NETSational Seniors in the third quarter, I slid to the edge of my seat. These admirable performers did some kind of ridiculous dance to the raucous hip-hop music that is constantly bumping at NBA games, and I made a mental note to YouTube them as soon as I arrived home. The Nets also deployed an impressive team of stunt-dunkers at halftime, and the usual t-shirt cannon, cheerleaders, dance team, etc.

So that was good, but the reason I actually went to the game, to see Williams attempt to contain Rajon Rondo, and Deron attempt to prevent the Celtics from dragging the Nets all over the gym, was far from the reality.

I do find NBA games, especially the playoffs, to be extremely engaging on TV where the subplots of a single match often exceed those of any other sport. However, I won’t be shelling out cash, even at the Nets’ discounted rate, to see a regular season NBA game again anytime soon unless it involves Blake Griffin.

But if the Prudential Center puts up $20 tickets to see a two-hour show by the NETSationals, you’ll see me courtside.